I’ve found that when Valentine’s Day rolls around every year, social media channels flood with posts of happy couples–and the not-so-happy single people who seem to be quite angry about the fact that they’re spending another year without a significant other to celebrate the holiday with. I’ve heard people call off the holiday entirely, choosing to be bitter and harsh even though the holiday’s intention is quite the opposite.
As a hopeless romantic, who also happens to be single, you would think that Valentine’s Day would get under my skin, but I am happy to announce that it’s one of my favorite days of the entire year. While I haven’t had that perfect date just yet or been led to believe I too can have my “rom-com” moment I am always bubbly and bright when I think about a holiday dedicated to the emotion of love. I’ve had my fair share of reasons to believe in the notion that “love doesn’t exist” or that people are bad but when I look around I find that love seeps through every smile, every latte, and every hug or even small talk in the hallway.
In my three years in university, I’ve met more people than I could even keep count of, some of whom I no longer speak to, some of whom I speak to daily, and some who fall somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. Through every moment of adversity, it’s been my friendships, family, and professional community that uplift me and empower me to be the best version of myself–a feeling that I don’t think I could ever get from a man or a boyfriend. At least not in this season of life.
Jokingly, I referred to my job as my boyfriend earlier this week. It’s not inherently false, I do find intense love and fulfillment from storytelling and creating something beautiful from a blank document or empty page. I spend enough time between the four jobs I have to probably cut the possibility of a relationship out completely. My insatiability towards my craft and finding success as a writer scares me sometimes, it makes me wonder whether I will ever love a significant other more than I love what I do. Deep down, however, I know that just isn’t true.
When I think of love, I used to think in terms of relationships and lived the narrative that I had “never been in love.” Turns out I was lying to myself the entire time –I am actually falling in love every day. With my life, with my routines, with my favorite coffee shop (shout out High Grounds), my late-night talks with friends, and my future career along with the opportunities that I’ve yet to see.
I think that it’s easy to be negative when you hear the word “love” but when you reflect on the love in your life that isn’t romantic, Valentine’s Day can become that much more empowering and warm. Call a friend, drink a glass of wine with your roommate, grab dinner with your mom, snuggle with your cat, and treat yourself to that sweet treat you’re so desperately craving. These acts of love go unnoticed or unappreciated sometimes, but when you look around and see where you can make someone’s day brighter it weaves together a community for yourself. And when there’s community there’s love.
So for all of my single ladies out there this year, I want you to step into your power and reflect on the love that surrounds you on a daily basis. Take that passion, that depth, and that love in your heart and use it to light up rooms, innovate ideas, and be a friendly face in a world that can be everything but kind. Don’t you dare dim your light and love I know you have and waste it being upset over a man who probably would have bought you gold jewelry when you wear silver earrings every day.
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