With Valentine’s Day, we all think the concept of love revolves around romance. Thinking of your significant other. Planning on where you will have dinner or planning out your next date. But what about the alternative?
According to Webster’s dictionary, love is defined as “a quality or feeling of strong or constant affection for and dedication to another.” From going on a date with your significant other, to also helping out your neighbor, or spending quality time with someone. To be unselfish but understanding. Regardless of everything in this world– careers, political stance, etc.– the two main things everyone desires for themselves are to love and to be loved. Everyone has the capacity to choose love every day regardless of the circumstances.
As I have grown older and have an understanding of the concept of love in the different elements that it encompasses, I consider love to be sacrificial above all else. On my worst days and best days, I try to express these attributes of love to others. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13:7-8.
I attribute all of the qualities of love to the teachings of Jesus Christ. True love to me is understanding that he gave up all that he had, dying for everyone in such great love. In return, I replicate that unconditional love that he has for everyone and live by that. Sacrificial love can be expressed as blessing and caring for others just as someone can do that for me. To give your life in the service of others. The type of “love” I like to express is Agape love. As God has shown me his love, I go to reciprocate that love onto others, encompassing the notion of altruism. It is the motivational state that someone possesses to increase the welfare of another person on their behalf. Volunteering at my local food pantry through my church, intentionally reminding those around me that they are loved and valued despite anything else, buying food for sick relatives. They may not be huge ways I show love but in the smallest acts of kindness, love prevails.
In past American culture, throughout history, the concept of love centered on the traditional way of practice. Two people would date to then consummate a marriage. As we see in society today, the lack of empathy and more so love is very present.
In recent years we’ve seen so much violence. From wars breaking out, mass shootings, and racial injustice, this outward expression of deep hatred and lack of compassion generally stems from the lack of love and understanding we have for everyone around us. Modern technology especially plays a huge role in that. We are all so glued to our devices that we ignore the people around us. We can easily go to our phone and ignore someone who may need help, or just show compassion to them.
Society has also expressed this idea of hookup culture. Expressing that the component of having multiple partners and that love does not have anything to do with it. It is a commitment-free lifestyle that can absolutely distort your happiness, thoughts, and perception of love. In a hookup culture, some people seek intimacy and a physical connection that poses this persona of what love is supposed to be. It can rob someone of finding true love. Not feeling satisfied with just one person and repetition of trying to find what love is through being with multiple people can be hard to come back from. To gain a different perspective, I asked professors and students on campus what their meaning of love is and how they represent that in their lives.
“I think love means different things to different people. One could reference attachment and affection. One could also reference dependability and connection. Love is bigger than the self, even though it is driven and impacts the self. I think this relates to the perspective of love in/as service. It is doing something for the sake of others to spread good and positivity,” said Professor Mark Hale of cognitive psychology.
Sean Baker, a senior piano performance major describes love as “an active decision towards those who you love. Caring, showing intimacy, but at the end of the day, it is a decision. The most profound type of love is unconditional love. Despite us being very conditional towards those that we would not say that we love. Being present in other people’s lives as we are students who are busy but something we can do better is to be present for one another.”
“Love has many different meanings. How natural it can come for someone. The ability to communicate through tough moments with compassion. It is something that is peaceful. I show that through acts of service. Bringing food to the food drive by the football field, giving people rides home, and maintaining a close relationship with the people around me is how I show love on a daily basis,” said computer science student Andre Portalatain Rivera.
“As a professor, the way I would define love is to give my energy in teaching Spanish and helping students without wanting recognition or receiving something in return. To see it has made a difference in a student’s life. Being devoted to making a difference through teaching. Throughout the years my love has evolved just as a person. Finding myself in my individuality.” Through energy to keep me going,” said Spanish Professor Sara Reina-Nieves.
Treating everyone with compassion and love can go so much farther than what we may see. Loving your neighbor as yourself, with intentionality, and humbleness. The component of peace that many people are longing to find.
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