Ignited by social media influencer and podcaster “Tinx,” the term is used to describe the popular phenomenon, most commonly occurring in college students. Symptoms of “boyfriend sickness” include, being in a new relationship, spending most of your time with your new significant other, and slowly leaving your friends behind in light of your new lover.
It’s important to note that “boyfriend sickness” can happen to any person of any gender or sexual orientation, the term doesn’t just apply to a person with a boyfriend.
In Tinx’s video, she explains how “boyfriend sickness” is a term that’s used interchangeably between her friends, used to easily excuse their friends for their out-of-regular behavior. She also talks about how there are different severity levels for the sickness, including moderate to severe. Her explanation for moderate “boyfriend sickness” symptoms includes canceling plans last minute for the significant other and adopting their partner’s views as their own. Where on the other hand, severe (or as Tinx says, “terminal”) symptoms would include disappearing for months at a time, never getting texted back anymore, and their entire personality changing.
“Boyfriend sickness” usually starts occurring around college time, and it’s way more common than you’d think. I have even fallen victim to it at some point, but here’s the tricky thing about it. When you are the one actually dealing with “boyfriend sickness”, you don’t realize it. I know in my case at least, when I did realize I was spending more time with my boyfriend than my friends, I changed my behavior. However, I found myself in a situation where there was not much I could do to salvage a particular friendship of mine, and ultimately ended up never crossing paths with that person again.
What I did appreciate in my situation though, were my friends who understood why I was acting the way I was, and knew it was not out of malice. They all understood what it was like to meet someone you really enjoy being around, and reassured me that this was normal, and not something to look down upon. Not only did this help with my guilt, but it opened my eyes to a whole new side of this problem; not everyone gets it, and that’s okay.
Some people genuinely never deal with “boyfriend sickness”, but everyone, in some way or another, gets lost in the honeymoon phase in a new and exciting relationship. If you end up finding yourself in the position of being a friend of someone going through “boyfriend sickness”, it’s important to keep in mind that this phase won’t last forever. Know that your friend is not abandoning you and that spending time with your special person is healthy for a new love. While it might be difficult to not feel envious or left out, know that being single is a beautiful thing in and of itself, and comes with its own amazing benefits.
However, it’s also important to maintain your friendships. If you somehow find yourself dealing with “boyfriend sickness” remember that it’s completely normal, but your friends would also appreciate some of your attention too. Having more discussion around “boyfriend sickness” could also help to reduce the confusion around when it actually happens, and encourage communication between you and your loved ones. In this post-Valentine time, remember to think about your people, shoot them a text, make time for them, but most importantly, enjoy this new and exciting time in your life, and don’t take it for granted.
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