My mom’s side of the family has always been built on traditions. Every year since my mom was a little girl, they would spend a week at a beach house in the Outer Banks, a trip that continued as the family expanded and their rental size was forced to grow. All of us would get together on other holidays too, including Thanksgivings in my grandparents’ garage, Christmases in my uncle’s cabin, and summers spent boiling crabs and roasting marshmallows in the rural landscapes of western Pennsylvania.
As a result, my sister and I became very close with the cousins on that side of the family. A group of all girls, it seemed that no matter how much time passed between the last time we saw each other, nothing had changed. A relationship where cousins felt like siblings and aunts and uncles felt like second parents, growing up with my extended family has created so many memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
However, as time has passed, our families haven’t been able to get together as much as we used to. Summer and holiday reunions slowed and family beach vacations ended, an over 40-year recurrence that concluded this past summer. This isn’t because of some falling out or drama within the family, it’s simply because time became limited.
Of myself, my sister, and our ten cousins, five of us have graduated from college, four are currently attending college, and three are still in high school. One is married, another is living with her fiancée in Switzerland, and two have careers in Philadelphia. Between the various adult and college lifestyles, and activities including collegiate swimming, club field hockey, and marching band; there’s simply no time left in our busy calendars for all of our families to get together.
Not only has this lack of time together changed our family gatherings, but it’s also changed our overall dynamic. We aren’t as close as we were as kids, and somewhere along the way the sleepovers and endless hours spent playing Minecraft turned into awkward reunions and the spectating of lives through pictures on social media.
The worst feeling is seeing how time affects the older relatives in our lives. Seeing our grandparents and aunts and uncles, the once lively, energetic souls become tired and ill-struck is the toughest pill to swallow, and it never gets any easier.
The unfortunate reality is, things will never be the same as they were before. Somewhere in the blur of childhood years, cousins grew up, elders got older, and time slipped away. The bliss of youth shadowed any of us from seeing this happen, but it sadly has. This circumstance, while disheartening, doesn’t have to be a buzzkill, but rather a moment to reflect on the importance of our in-consistent get-togethers.
Nostalgia is a powerful feeling, one that is able to captivate happy memories and unlock positive emotions of the past. It’s normal to yearn for the comforts of old, but it’s also vital to understand these newly developed realities. Now that these gatherings have ended, it’s important to cherish the time we do get to spend together. Our family traditions have come to an end, but that doesn’t mean our bond has to. While it may not be resemblant to the dynamics of the past, we should be grateful to still have the opportunity to meet each other when a spot opens in all of our hectic schedules. We aren’t as close as we used to be, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other any less. At the end of the day, we are all still a family, and nothing, not even limited availability, can change that.
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