Leady: On divorce

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Growing up, you could find me in a house with a mother and a father, like most others. That is until I hit sixth grade. That’s when I learned a new vocabulary term that would ultimately change my life.


I was too young to really remember much of it, but I was just old enough to know it was never what I would wish for my own life.

When my parents got divorced, I don’t remember it being all sunshine and rainbows, it was a lot of emotional hurt and confusion.

I just remember being wrapped up in my thoughts thinking, “Why is this happening?” “What can I do to make them happy?” “What has to change?”

Sadly, there was nothing that could be done by me to change things back to the way they were. What’s done is done and in the long run, it all worked out for the better.

I live with my mother full time as I go to Rowan. I don’t split time at my father’s house, not because I don’t like him, but just because that’s the way things worked out. I love both of my parents equally.

The worst part about this is that I am not alone. Me, along with my brother, half sister, and two step brothers all have divorced parents. It doesn’t end there.

According to the Pew Research Center, nearly 54 percent of families in the United States have divorced families. Let that sink in. More than half of the families in the United States don’t have the same household they were born in.

I know more than half of my friends have divorced parents.

This brings me to my worst fear: falling in love and getting divorced after starting a family with the person I loved so much.

I am currently in a relationship, granted it’s just about five months in. But we’ve had the conversation and we share the same fear.

She also comes from a family of divorced parents, and our family structures are also very similar now.

If we make it to marriage, we want to put out the possibility of getting divorced. Of course we are early on, but it is an important conversation to have.

Sure, no one plans a divorce, but it develops over time. Talking about it early makes you look more into that person and gives you more time to look at them in their entirety and realize it can work.

The point: think, act and don’t take anything for granted, you never know what can be taken from you at any minute.

As I have quoted on my chest, “What’s right is what’s left when everything is wrong.” Take it as you please, but it means more to me than many people will understand.

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