Reasons Why… Nobody likes finals week

Graphic by Kathryn Messinger

Graphic by Kathryn Messinger

All together now! I hate finals week. You hate finals week. We all hate finals week! Here are some definitive reasons why your hatred for this week from Hell is entirely acceptable.

Sleep — “I don’t need to study. There’s a week until finals. I can study the night before my exam. I’m just gonna pull an all-nighter.” If you’ve said any of these phrases during finals week then you have most likely endured an extremely tiring and unsatisfying exam. Your “sleep schedule” no longer exists during finals week. Sooner or later you’ll find yourself staying up until 3 a.m. reading the same paragraph over and over again out of a book you didn’t even know you owned.

Coffee — You don’t even like coffee… until finals week. Forget the water, dehydration isn’t real. During finals week, coffee runs through your body like blood. Your new best friends are iced, regular, tall and grande. Dunkin’ Donuts, GET IN MY MOUTH.

Emotions — Having to study for one exam is stressful enough, but having to study for four, possibly five exams, turns you into someone other than yourself. You become irritated more easily, frustrated without realizing why, and randomly hyper (thanks, coffee). If you’re one of those people who manages to ace every single test and quiz without having to look at one single piece of information, NO ONE LIKES YOU. Just kidding, you’re still great and all, but the fact that I have four exams over the next two days, and you took tap dancing as a class… and have to dance… for a grade… isn’t making me like you any more.

The library — During finals week, everyone, and I mean, everyone is at the library. Your usual spot is taken. People are talking rather loudly at the table next to you. You even hear laughter coming from the far side of the bookcases. How dare they? You’re lucky to get a solid hour in complete silence before the tap dancing guy is showing someone his routine in the foyer by the bathroom. YOU DON’T BELONG HERE.

Social media — Social media becomes 100 times more irritating during finals week. People post, tweet or upload about two things: how they failed the exam, or how they passed it with flying colors. Consequently, you’re either going to be really happy for them, or extremely, extremely annoyed. When your good friend Claire tweets about how she bombed her microeconomics exam this morning and you have to take it later that afternoon, you suddenly want to unfollow her from every aspect of your life. Claire didn’t do anything to you. Claire is just frustrated with herself. Claire should have studied. Don’t take your anger out on Claire, just get off of Twitter and study.

Grades — As finals week approaches, a strange feeling conjures in your gut. The feeling of regret for that one time you skipped class and didn’t hand in the assignment. Or that one time you had a pop quiz and knew absolutely nothing so you drew doodles on the back of the paper instead of attempting to answer the questions. Finals week makes you question everything you know about grades. Are they real? An “A” is just a letter. Finals has an “A” in it. Grade has an “A” in it. Maybe if I just repeat those words over and over again I’ll get an “A” in the class. Yeah… maybe.

You haven’t gotten any sleep. You Google “is it possible to overdose on caffeine” in your spare time. You feel like you have no friends. So yeah, if there is one thing society fully accepts, it’s the fact that finals week is the most hated week of any college student’s life. But just remember, a “B” isn’t the end of the world.

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