Take a break from health and fitness

Here I sit, alone on a drizzly Monday night, munching reheated chicken fingers and watching the world come and go through the portrait-lined walls of Profs Place.

I’m sifting through old copies of The Whit, making notes on the back of an old library receipt about all the topics I’ve touched on throughout the year. It’s a who’s who of health and wellness, strength training, barefoot running, high fructose corn syrup, stress management, sleeping and sunscreen.

I rub my tired eyes, lean back and look up from the pile, racking my brain for an idea. It has to be wild and fantastic, written like a warrior-poet with words like iron and letters like swords.

The Great American Column.

As I gaze at the ordering line ahead of me, I’m struck with a thought: What can I say that hasn’t already been said, by me or by someone else? There are only so many ways you can tell someone to eat more vegetables, exercise more frequently and sleep better, especially now, at the single most stressful time during a college student’s school year. Health, wellness, fitness; these are the last things on the mind of the girl who just spent 29 hours awake studying Shakespeare, or the engineering student who hasn’t seen the sun in three days. What possible good could I do now?

The answer is none. I’m giving you a break this week. Finish your papers, ace your finals and complete your projects. Eat when you can, move when you have to and sleep when the coffee finally wears off. A week or two of hell won’t kill you, although it might make you a bit cranky.

In exchange for such generous leniency, I offer a challenge this summer to everyone reading these words: explore. I want you to get up, get outside and see the world. Stop by a farmer’s market and eat a fruit you’ve never heard of before. Run shoeless in the rain and play soccer on the beach. Meet a guy, flirt with a girl, drink with friends and work like you don’t need the money. Use the summer for everything school would deny you. Use it for freedom.

Oh, and since I’m talking about summer and freedom, here’s a quick tip from me, a third-year bouncer. If you or one of your friends is notorious for getting exceedingly drunk, write an emergency phone number on your leg or arm with a marker. That way bar workers know who to call. I saw it at my bar and it was the best idea some guy had all night. A cell phone might get lost but rarely does an arm or a leg.

It takes a special kind of insanity to get excited about the difference between fast and slow twitch muscle fibers. But with any luck, you’ll get to read more of my insanity next semester. I’ll be spending the entire break reading up on the newest and the coolest in the world of health. In the meantime, have a great summer everyone!