Jen

I appreciate the article, but the thing which to me is most sad is that there needs to be a featured column for this. One might think that in our advanced civilization sexual respect would be an essential and universally understood part of our ethical system.

I said I am a strong believe of no means no. Bottom line.

The argument I was attempting to present is that girls who do all of the things I wrote about act shocked and surprised when it happens to them. Stereotypes are something that are consistently followed on college campuses. Girls should use common sense to protect themselves. The guy is never in the right to continue after a girl says no. I thought I made that part of my argument clear.

Im not trying to argue for all different kinds of cases of rape. So please don’t put words in my mouth. I am only talking about the girls who wear next to nothing, drink to much (or maybe even not at all), lead a guy on, get him all hot and bothered, strip down to nothing in his bed, and then expects to keep total control of the situation. Because many times girls do lose control. And that is just common knowledge. College BOYS are immature and don’t think before they act. If girls just considered all of the stereotypes and common sense knowledge that they know, then 9 times out of 10 they will be able to protect themselves from this crime.

So:

1. NO MEANS NO. A guy who doesn’t listen to no is NEVER right to do what he does.
2. However, if a girl doesn’t protect herself, how can she be shocked when something happens?

Craig, by your logic if you kiss someone that automatically means you want to have sex. Also, according to you, anytime a girl gets drunk she is really saying “it is okay to rape me.” I know thats what I’m saying every time I drink.

Janine, I understand that women need to be careful when they’re out drinking, but you cheapen your argument with “If a girl doesn’t want sex…don’t act like you do” That’s just it, you don’t have to act like you do. Have you heard of date/acquaintance rape by any chance? You don’t have to be drunk to get raped.

All in all, victim blaming is disgusting. Even more disgusting is how rape is seen as nothing more than a joke on this campus. It sickens me how lightly rape is viewed at Rowan. Unless I hide in my room all day I can’t go through the day without hearing a rape joke. I can only hope that one day, rape will actually be seen as a serious, traumatic event and we can get away from victim blaming and start to solve the problem.

It’s quite obvious you have a lot of growing up to do and you really are making other men look bad with those kinds of remarks.

It is no crime for a woman to put on an outfit that she knows she looks good on. Doesn’t matter if YOU think its trashy or ‘whorish’ or anything for that matter. If a woman looks good in a short skirt, so be it. She may even WANT to be seen as attractive. BUT showing others that you are attractive is NOT consent or comparable to giving consent for sex. If she is clearly intoxicated, there is no reason why you as a man, can’t take control of the situation and understand the risks involved and get yourself out of the situation.

And YES, a man and a woman can have OTHER sexual interaction and not WANT actual intercourse. That may be a shock to you but I suggest you wise up to that before you find yourself as a defendant in a rape case.

In regards to women telling everyone that they were raped, if anything, it raises awareness. Whether you agree or disagree, perhaps because you’ve read this article, the next time you find yourself in a similar situation you may think twice before forcing yourself on to someone, drunk or sober.

P.S. It’s one thing to share your opinion. There is nothing wrong with not agreeing with what you read here. But to then start to call the author a “dumb bitch” and such, that is just immature. This is a pretty serious topic of debate, why not try having a clean adult conversation?

When any girl starves for attention enough from males by wearing the shortest dress or lowest cut shirt in her closet, then goes out, parties (or chills), starts hooking up with a guy, follows him to his room, strips down and keeps the foreplay going…

This girl does not get to be surprised when things progress into sex. When a girl puts herself in an obvious situation where things WILL happen (because there comes a time..like when you are naked in a boy’s bed) it is common sense that something will happen. If a girl does not want to have sex with a guy…don’t objectify yourself with next to nothing clothing, don’t get trashed without people looking out for you, don’t follow a guy into his room, and don’t get naked.

If a girl doesn’t want sex…don’t act like you do. Protect yourself. Respect yourself. And use some common sense.

Again…it is never right when a guy keeps pushing after a girl says no…but the girl doesn’t get to be shocked when she loses control of a situation.