Crime log

Dec. 16, Campbell Library–

The Campbell Library. A silent, austere monument to higher learning. A piazza where the students of Rowan University can mingle and learn and grow together. On the morning of Dec. 16, however, the Campbell Library was anything but. On this particular morning, the Campbell Library became a wretched hive of scum and villainy the likes of which have not been seen since the Mos Eisley cantina shut its doors so many years ago.

On that morning, one student got up from the desk they had been feverishly studying at to use the restroom and returned to find that their calculus book had been stolen. Approximately one hour later, another student rose from their desk to find that their microbiology textbook had been taken.

No suspects have been found in either case, which is understandable, considering that on that particular day, every single individual in the library was carrying books.  In fact, the library actually holds the distinction of having the highest concentration of books anywhere on campus. Forget finding a needle in a haystack. This case is more like trying to find one specific needle in a four story building whose purpose is the housing and lending out of thousands upon thousands of needles.

In my opinion, the supposed “victims” are the real winners here. They no longer have to study calculus and microbiology. It seems to me that the thief or thieves still have two incredibly difficult subjects to study, and couldn’t sell those books back for an eighth of what they were worth if they tried.

Although these briefs are a sample of actual incidents reported by Public Safety please note, creative license has been taken. The full report can be obtained at the office of the Department of Public Safety in Bole Annex.
Rowan University Detective Bureau anonymous tip line: 856-256-7428.