Crime log

September 25, 2009 – Rowan Boulevard Apts. – 2:23 a.m.

What I’ve learned about bottles, no matter what they contain, is that they should never be made from glass. Glass shatters, causing seven years of bad luck, as well as profuse bleeding. A student found this out the hard way when she told officers that while at Landmark, she bent down to pick something up and “her face made contact with a bottle.” Really? Made contact with a bottle? That seems so accidental; civil even. The poor girl probably had a little too much to drink (maybe Landmark had some great specials that night), dropped her phone or wristlet and smashed her head into the table where the bottle was located. I know it’s embarrassing and you don’t want to admit that you had one too many shots, but it’s either that or you admit that you got a little sleepy at the bar and hit your head on a table. It’s your decision, choose wisely.

September 26, 2009 – Parking Garage – 1:14 p.m.

Parking your car is always tricky. Whether you have a minuscule space to parallel park or you can’t read the numbers painted for assigned spots , being alert behind the wheel doesn’t stop once you reach your destination. A student found this out the hard way when she hit the concrete wall of the Townhouse parking garage while trying to fix her sunglasses. It is unclear whether she was just thinking ahead to the sunlight she would see when she got out of her car or if a sudden glare impeded her vision. Regardless, I doubt her relationship with Ray Bans will ever be the same again.

September 26, 2009 –Downtown Glassboro – 11:54 p.m.

Usually when cops are called for back-up to off-campus living, there’s drinking, loud music and public displays of idiocy involved – you know, usual college behavior. This wasn’t the case when Rowan Police were called by Glassboro Police to retrieve a stolen Education department sign. When Rowan Police arrived, they questioned the only resident home at the time, who stated she had no idea how the banner got there, even though it had been hanging up for quite some time.

First off, congratulations. I’m sure that retrieving that sign from Education Hall was difficult. It required you to wear a lot of black clothing, perhaps even a ski mask and get the sharpest pair of scissors you could find. Second, obviously you know where it came from and how it got there; you see it everyday in your house. You probably walk by it at least twice a day if not more and if you somehow manage to avoid seeing the sign in your house, I’m pretty sure you walk by Education Hall a few times a week. So sorry about your loss of décor. Maybe you can find something equally as nice at Target. If not to remind you of your past accomplishment, walk by Education and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

Although these briefs are a sample of actual incidents reported by Public Safety please note, creative license has been taken. The full report can be obtained at the office of the Department of Public Safety in Bole Annex.

Rowan University Detective Bureau anonymous tip line: (856) 256-7428.